Episode Transcript
You’re used to being one of the few women in engineering. You’re often the only one in the room. It’s still not unusual for you to feel like an outsider in this field.
And when it comes to moving up in your career, being an outsider adds just enough adversity to make it more of a struggle for you as a woman than it does for a man.
In today’s episode, we’re gonna talk about a particular kind of feedback that seems like a small thing. But it has a big role in helping you successfully navigate the struggle to move up in your engineering career.
Navigating the Struggle to Move Up in Your Engineering Career
As you continue to progress in your career, upward mobility becomes more difficult. A good reference for you to go back and listen to is Episode 18, An Upward Mobility Model for Women Engineers.
As you move up in your career, there are fewer opportunities and more competition. Since it’s new ground for you – as for many women engineers – the challenges are like working against the grain. It’s hard to know if your approach is the right one.
You have sources who can give you good feedback. Your boss, your colleagues, people you lead. Sometimes you have to ask for it. But they’ll give you feedback. The right kind of feedback is so important.
But beyond feedback you need affirmation.
Affirmation goes farther than feedback. Beyond just knowing your actions and decisions are meeting expectations, affirmation has an element of encouragement. And you need that because working against the grain is hard.
Even though you’re perfectly capable, you need affirmation to keep you from giving up due to the extra effort. The extra effort required to overcome biases and stereotypes and the differences between your leadership style and “the way we’ve always done it.”
You need affirmation to reinforce that you’re on the right track and that what you’re doing is leading you in a positive career direction.
Without affirmation, you feel like something’s missing. There’s no reinforcement of the effort you made or what you accomplished. And the story you tell yourself is that you weren’t good enough.
Turns out that without affirmation, many women engineers stop their progress.
The Role of Affirmation in Your Engineering Career Success
To ensure you don’t give up in this way, here are more insights on affirmation and the role it can play in your engineering career success. The what, who, where and how of affirmations:
What Is Affirmation?
Affirmations are positive, encouraging words and phrases – given directly to you – to reinforce your abilities and potential for success.
They’re intended to be heartening and reassuring. To inspire and embolden you. To cheer you on in a supportive and nurturing way.
And they work because, when you hear these affirmations, they raise your vibrational frequency. They increase your motivation and give you confidence and optimism.
They work because they fill in that missing piece – the one that not only says “you did a good job” but also “I like what you’re doing.”
What I like about affirmation is that you get a sense of the giver’s personal opinion or feeling on the matter. More than just a checkmark against an expectation, you’re getting a more meaningful idea of your performance.
Who Needs Affirmation?
Affirmation can seem trivial to engineers with high confidence. To those who’ve been around and feel comfortable in the environment they work in.
But it can play a huge role for those who are less confident. To those who are new to the field or the job. And those who don’t quite feel like they belong.
When you’re an outsider, or when you’re the “only” – like many women in engineering, especially those trying to move up – the effect of affirmations is significant.
A simple statement of affirmation can mean the difference between continuing to higher level positions and giving up. Between staying in engineering and leaving the field altogether.
Where Do You Get Affirmation?
It can come from anywhere. And any affirmation is beneficial. But to most benefit your career, you’d like to hear it from your boss and from people of influence.
Self-affirmation is also effective. It can’t take the place of affirmation from your boss. But, in the absence of that, it can serve to motivate you and keep you from giving up.
How Do You Get Affirmation?
To some bosses it may seem that giving affirmation is superfluous. It’s not really required. But if affirmation is something you need, then ask for it.
The best affirmations come without prompting. But just like you can ask for feedback, you can ask for affirmation. I recommend you get thorough feedback first. Then seek some encouragement.
Here are some questions you can pose to your boss or mentor if you’re not getting affirmation:
- What was positive about my work?
- What did you like most about my approach?
- What part of my work convinces you that I have potential for higher level positions or more challenging projects?
- What did you notice as uniquely effective?
- What talents or strengths do you see that I might not see?
If you’re performance is superb, it will be easier to continue moving forward and upward in your career.
But even if you’re performance was less than stellar, you don’t have to give up. You still have the option to try again. And you’re much more likely to do so if you get some affirmation.
I applaud you for challenging yourself in the first place. It’s a risk-taking activity. And whether or not the endeavor is wildly successful, you’re building confidence and risk-tolerance.
The key is to keep at it. Pay attention to the affirmation you’re getting. Use it as motivation. And if affirmation is missing, see if you can tap into your feedback sources to get some.
It’s a small thing that will get you the inspiration you need to keep moving up – and making a difference – in your engineering career.
Next time on Her Engineering Career Podcast our topic will be your mid-career transition to more impactful roles. You won’t want to miss Episode 77.
