Show Notes
I love it when I can share something that is so simple yet so powerful.
Giving strategic compliments is one simple thing that both men and women can do at work to have a significant positive impact. We’ll talk about the benefits of strategic compliments for women engineers and I’ll share some tips on how to give them.
I know that people struggle with how to give compliments in the workplace that aren’t offensive. These days in this age of diversity, equity and inclusion there is much confusion about the right thing to say.
But I’m not talking about surface compliments, like “You look nice today.” I’m talking about strategic compliments: positive statements that point out others’ specific actions or accomplishments that move us closer to our goal.
A genuine observation of someone’s good work will rarely be offensive.
How Strategic Compliments Benefit Women Engineers
Many books and online references tout the benefits of compliments in general. There are rewards for giver and receiver alike.
Since engineering is a challenging environment and there aren’t many women in it, the benefits of strategic compliments for women engineers are amplified. Here are some key examples.
By giving strategic compliments to women engineers, you:
- Increase their visibility and the recognition of their work.
- Encourage a positive and inclusive culture that enhances productivity and innovation.
- Inform management of notable impact by the women under their leadership.
- Provide feel-good vibes for those you compliment as well as for yourself.
How to Give Strategic Complements
Giving strategic complements requires a specific technique. It’s more than just saying something nice to someone. Here are some tips for how to give strategic compliments. I call them the 4 T’s: Truth, Take, Timing, and Target.
- The Truth – Your compliment must be a truth about the person you are complimenting. A truth that you have witnessed or have come to know and that has meaning for you.
It’s not so important that the truth is a monumental accomplishment. It’s more important that it’s in the spirit of the team’s goal or the organization’s vision or the greater good, as the case may be.
Sharing this truth in a sincere way ensures that your strategic compliment has integrity.
- The Take – Your compliment must have the proper take. It must include a description of the action or accomplishment of the person you’re complimenting. It must also include their role in it and the resulting impact.
Here’s an example: If I say, “Good job at the meeting today, Sarah!” This is not a strategic compliment.
Instead, it should be more specific: “Sarah, you did a great job leading the discussion at the meeting today. I liked how you made it so interactive. The team is much more prepared for the project kick-off now, and our customers are already more engaged and responsive!”
Hear the difference? In the second version you hear the action, her role, and the impact. The proper take ensures that you’re giving a strategic compliment and not merely a surface compliment.
- The Timing – Any time can be a good time to give a compliment. But for a strategic compliment make sure you deliver it when the receiver is ready to receive it.
Not when they’re distracted or distressed. But when they’re engaged and you have their attention. You can enhance the effect when other colleagues are listening.
The proper timing ensures that the strategic compliment is heard and acknowledged.
- The Target – Strategic compliments will have most impact when you can praise people in front of their bosses and other influential leaders.
You can strategically give a compliment to someone while targeting bosses or other key people to hear it at the same time. The receiver of the compliment gets a double benefit. First because they are given positive feedback and second because their bosses hear good things about them.
Plus those bosses will appreciate hearing your input.
Targeting the right people to hear your positive comments ensures greater return for the person you are complimenting.
Your Challenge: Give Strategic Compliments to Women Engineers
I challenge you to start giving strategic compliments to your women engineering colleagues. It will take some practice at first. But soon opportunities to give strategic compliments will present themselves, and it’ll be more natural for you to take them.
Remember the 4 T’s: Truth, Take, Timing and Target.
You’ll be setting an example of strategic complimenting for others in the organization to follow. You’ll notice how others start catching on. You’ll notice compliments in return.
You’ll notice how powerful a few strategic words can be, both given and received.
Next time on Her Engineering Career Podcast we’ll talk about the 3 aspects of your career that you should own. Join me next time for Episode 34.
