Show Notes
Welcome to Episode 20 – woohoo!
In our last episode we talked about getting good feedback. How to recognize it. And how to ask for it. That’s the first challenge, and it’s very important for your engineering career.
The second challenge that is equally – or maybe even more – important is how you handle that feedback. How you accept it and leverage it. That’s what today’s episode is all about.
I think for most people, certainly for me, handling feedback is stressful. Some people seem to just take it in stride. And maybe a few of them are naturals at it. But I’m thinking a lot of those people had to learn and practice how to handle feedback, just like you and me.
Compared to men, women may be at a disadvantage when it comes to handling career feedback because they tend to struggle with confidence, they tend to take things more personally, and they tend to have a stronger emotional response. (These are general tendencies, of course. True for most, not all.)
On the other hand, women may be at an advantage when it comes to handling career feedback because they tend to have stronger people skills, more empathy, and better interpersonal relationships.
They tend to be strong communicators. And they tend to be collaborative and supportive. These characteristics lend themselves well to handling feedback.
You can learn to recognize these characteristics in yourself. And, as we go through how to accept and leverage feedback, think about best practices that you can develop that will mesh with your characteristics.
Proper Handling of Career Feedback Means Accepting and Leveraging It
Accepting feedback can be difficult, especially if the feedback you get is unexpected. During feedback sessions, you need to be able to take the good with the bad and behave in a professional manner.
It helps to remember that the giver of feedback has good intentions and their feedback is meant to benefit you. Let’s go through a few scenarios.
- If you’re getting constructive feedback that aligns with your expectations and opinions, it will be easy for you to accept. Be sure to listen, capture key points, and follow up with actions.
- If you’re getting constructive feedback but with different ideas than yours, that should prompt you to ask more questions. Make sure you understand what the giver is saying. And make sure you’re clear on how to follow up.
- If you’re getting more unfavorable feedback than you expected, it will be uncomfortable and harder for you to accept it all without some contrary reaction. Here are some things you can do in this situation:
- If the feedback seems reasonable and you feel capable of engaging in discussion about it, then start a dialog, ask questions, state any concerns, and ask for advice as appropriate.
This is a skill you can practice and develop. It will allow you to get the most out of your feedback session and use it in a fruitful way.
(I’ve found this skill to be very challenging. People who are able to separate themselves from their performance are better at this. The feedback is not a criticism of you, but of your performance.)
- If you’re not sure you agree with the feedback or don’t feel emotionally strong enough to discuss it, you do not need to respond in the moment. Consider asking the giver if you can ponder the feedback for a day and come back later to talk about it.
This will give you time to put your thoughts in order and see the feedback in a more positive light.
If you find yourself getting angry or upset, don’t respond in the moment. Ask for extra time. Walk away. Think about what was said. Discuss it with others. Determine an appropriate response. And schedule a follow up meeting.
- If you’re getting feedback that seems biased, unfair or wrong, decide if you want to confront it in real time. In some cases this might be best. Other times you might want to consult others, such as a mentor, another manager you trust, or an HR representative.
Leveraging Feedback to Advance Your Engineering Career
How do you leverage feedback? Arguably the most important part of getting feedback is what you do with it. Here are 3 steps to leveraging feedback for your engineering career advancement:
- Document and track the feedback you’re given. By doing this you’ll capture what was said and have it to refer back to. It helps you remember the feedback correctly. And it gives you a reference to see your progress after you’ve taken follow-up actions.
- Decide what is useful and what isn’t. You probably won’t take every piece of advice you’re given, nor should you. Compare the feedback you get to your vision and goals. Determine if it fits within your energetic center. See how it aligns with your own assessment. And prioritize what will benefit you most.
- Work the useful parts into action items that help accomplish your goals. Include them in your personal development plan and in your overall career plan.
This is the payback of feedback. This is how feedback helps you learn, progress, and excel.
As you develop your career vision and gain more experience, you can decide to set aside the non-useful feedback. If you’re getting a lot of non-useful feedback – if you’re being advised to do things that don’t match your goals – it might be a sign to make a change.
Leveraging feedback is one of many ways to advance your career, and it takes some awareness and self-motivation. Through my signature program, I am available to work with you on this to help you set a path toward your vision as a confident engineer and influential leader.
I’d love to learn more about you and take this journey with you toward a more fulfilling career.
One final tip:
Another way to leverage feedback is by harvesting the positive comments you receive about your strengths and potential and adding them to your “story.”
That is, incorporate them in your elevator speech, in interviews, and in discussions with key stakeholders. Include them any time you’re communicating your career vision.
How you handle feedback has a significant impact on your engineering career. Accepting feedback can be challenging and stressful. But you can learn that skill and become proficient at it.
Leveraging feedback is where the rubber meets the road. The feedback gets transformed into action that propels you along your envisioned career trajectory.
Let’s recap, shall we? Our topic today is handling feedback. We first talked about the advantages and disadvantages that women may have in the feedback process.
We discussed accepting feedback in different scenarios. And we discussed 3 steps to leveraging feedback, which involves taking action and provides direct benefit to your career.
Next time on Her Engineering Career Podcast, we’ll continue this series on career challenges for women engineers. Don’t miss our featured topic – scarcity and other trances – coming up on Episode 21.
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